Steampunked

Here's my latest show. Check out a parallel universe where future and past collide!!!

Thanks for choosing Sears.....NOT!!!!

Taken from Matt’s handwritten journal……

DAY 1

I awake with enthusiasm. Today will be the day. Yesterday’s robocall assured me that the Sears tech would arrive between 8 and 12, after calling me first.

All is in readiness. The washer and dryer are gleaming and the laundry room sparkles with anticipation. I know that my appliances will soon be purring sweetly once more with just a little TLC from Sears.

The call comes at noon to say the tech has been delayed and will surely arrive between 3:30 and 4. I recite my mantra and resolve to go with the flow.

At 5:30 I call customer service in distant Arizona and learn that my Sears technician has gone home for the day. They’ll put me down for tomorrow between 8 and 12. I ask for a supervisor and am told that one will call me right back.

Hours later I sit by the phone in a candlelight vigil. Still no call back.

DAY 2

I awaken, somewhat disoriented from a dream of fresh, fluffy clothes spinning and endlessly spinning. I take solace knowing that I am dealing with Sears after all and this is America!

I wait feeling the call will come at any moment now. My food reserves are running low, but I dare not leave the house for Safeway. I don’t want to miss the tech, who will be here at any time I am confident.

Noon comes with a call to say the tech has been delayed. I gnaw nervously on my finger, hunger beginning to set in.

By evening, I experience the first signs of desperation. The lights flicker.

DAY 3

Daylight hits me like a ton of bricks. I awaken in a sea of dirty laundry. Oh no, I’ve peed myself and have nothing clean to wear. Surely someone will be here to repair my units soon. I must be strong and somehow get through this thing. I can persevere.

Supplies are dangerously low now. I am weak. I lapse in and out of consciousness.

I hear an engine and drag myself to the window hoping it is Sears. Just a passing car. I see my neighbor walking her dog and try to call out for help, my voice now too weak to hear.

SEARS IS KILLING ME! I ask God for guidance in this urgent time of need. Give me a sign O Lord. Again the lights flicker and this time go out. In my delirium, I have neglected to mail the PG&E check.

Another day has passed and my life has become a living hell. When will Sears get here!?

DAY 4

I awaken to find my forearm is now half eaten, though it has provided me little nourishment. All my rations are gone as is my hope.

All is lost. Kurtz had it right…..”Horror has a face and you must make a friend of horror.”

I resign myself to the awful truth that Sears has blown me off!

EPILOGUE

They found Matt in a fetal position by the washer, pen in hand and journal by his side. The appliances remain in disrepair

Wendy I'm Home

Something's up with Jack, something's up with Jack.
Don't know if we're ever going to get him back. -Nightmare Before Christmas


Strange eyes fill strange rooms
Voices will signal their tired end -Jim Morrison

Just who is this Mrs. Palmer?

For the ultimate wax job....

The Mad Hatter

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?

Alice Kingsley: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Planet Surf

Photos taken while orbiting Bolinas today. The planet had some fast clean waves!

when good gifts go bad!!

Unwrap it...

ORGY OF GIFTS

cop stop

Town was packed yesterday, what with the big south swell, and parking was hard to come by. I guess other surf spots were closed out cause there were many unfamiliar cars, trucks and faces.

Lucky for me that Rob was packing up as I arrived for second shift. He said to hang for a couple minutes as he finished every surfer’s ritual of shedding neoprene, stowing gear and board strapping.

As we chatted, The Man rolled up. Uh-oh, better be cool.

“How long should I let you stop here?” he asked, somewhat firmly.

Thought process: Hmmm? As long as it takes? Probably the wrong answer.

“Sounds like a rhetorical question.” I replied. “I’m on my way.”

If only I’d had a donut handy...

I circled slowly around and eased into the spot Rob was now waiting to comp me with.

Later I “passed forward” the favor to Hans when he showed up for third shift. Ya gotta have connections these days.