glug, glug

Hurling your shirt into Lake Ilsanjo?!.... Dude, really??

What was he thinking, this middle aged, less than buff and now bare chested character? He may have aspired to be a man of steel with his military crew cut and fatigues, but shedding his drab brown tee shirt revealed no muscular “guns” and no “six pack” abs.

He sure did look pleased with himself, though. His girlfriend seemed kinda bemused, and yet a little uncertain.

The tee shirt floated there and then slowly bubbled downward, disappearing into the dark water.

What further antics awaited us we wondered? We tried to politely muffle our laughter.

Charlotte, Joel, Bob and I were enjoying the late day sun and glorious afternoon there at our favorite Annadel mountain bike destination, the dam at Lake Ilsanjo. Today felt like we had somehow landed in a picture perfect postcard world. We savored the unusual warmth on this last day of 2011, knowing that the soon descending sun would create a rapid cooling effect. I mean there had been ice on the puddles on yesterday’s trails; so it was still a winter day. The lake must be filled with frigid groundwater and would surely make for a most invigorating swim.

The girlfriend took off her top layer as if to offer him her shirt. She must have sensibly recognized the impending chill as she quickly put it right back on. Common sense at least prevailed on her end.

Meanwhile GI Joe was wrestling to no avail, attempting to snap off a large limb from a nearby oak tree.

“Hey, please don’t hurt that tree. It needs its limbs for chlorophyll production.” implored Charlotte.

So next he decided to forage in a clump of poison oak, the foliage now absent. We well recognized this itchy spot from our many summer rides and called out, but our warning was unheeded. He triumphantly produced a 3 foot length of misshapen tree limb.

He carried his funky find back to his former spot, but then abruptly departed with his date, leaving the makeshift tool behind. Was he not clear on the concept? Were we to be denied our spectator sport?

Moments later, they returned. YAY!

He was not about to abandon his shirt to the resident muskrats after all. He sprawled shirtless on the cold ground and with head and upper torso somewhat submerged in the chilled lake water. He probed with his twisted branch. Up came a soggy trophy!

“So just what was the deal with the shirt?” we had to ask.

“Well, it was something philosophical about the New Year and kind of symbolic”, he endeavored to explain.

(“Yeah, symbolic of being a doofus”, we later chortled.)

He had created a kind of air pocket he further elaborated. The expectation was that the shirt would float.... All righty then. How'd that work out for ya?

He then went on to say, “I wanted to show her what I am made of.”

“And that you did”, said Charlotte.

Yet his date looked less than duly impressed.

She mentioned that he had earlier “baptized his head” in the chilly lake. They may not have been too long into their relationship. She seemed to be still processing the day’s events in her mind.

Off they walked into the now lengthening shadows, he shirtless with a dripping mass in hand.

When we began our descent later, we noticed them making their way down a sketchy, seldom used trail, aptly nicknamed Donna’s Demise. Little did the girlfriend realize her adventure in survival was just beginning!


Epilogue....

Local News Source:

A grim discovery was made this New Year’s Day in Annadel State Park.
The bodies of two hikers were found perched on a steep cliff in a densely wooded and remote area.

The partially eaten body of a middle age woman has led authorities to suspect that her male companion resorted to cannibalism in the night to stay alive. His shirtless body was found nearby, apparently dead of hypothermia.

Police are still baffled by a soaking wet tee shirt found in the proximity.